I was browsing Barnes & Noble, as I am wont to do, and saw this book by Judy Zionts Fox and Mia Roldan, Voices of Strength: Sons and Daughters of Suicide Speak Out(Far Hills, NJ: New Horizons Press, 2009), about survivors of parental suicide, and even before I perused it my eyes began to tear. It has been fifteen and a half years since my mother committed suicide and, like Harry Reid said in the foreword, it “is like a haunting fog, having no boundaries and forever lingering in the thoughts of those who survived it.” The saying is true which he quoted that, “The person who completes suicide dies once, but those left behind die a thousand deaths.” After all this time I am still moved to tears when I think about it and about everyone who has survived something like we did.
I bought the book and intend to read it soon. Just leafing the pages is heart-rending, but I think to read this will be worth my while. It is dangerous to ignore your feelings when it comes to something as tragic as this, and dangerous to keep those feelings to yourself. It does not honor the one who died (nor does it dishonor them, if that is what you want). But it is worth the effort to think about what happened and what it means to you, to think deeply about it and to try to understand yourself. It is worth the effort to reconnect to others, to find a way to do this. There is healing in this mix; something living grows from this soil; and who knows if your healing will not rebound on the one whom you have lost.